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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 1
Chapter Title: The Returned Hero's Streamer Life with the Saintess
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Late at night, a bonfire crackled and blazed.
It was a quiet time after the battle.
"Wow, it's finally over..."
Their attire, as they sat gathered around, could hardly be called clean.
Their clothes were heavily soiled with blood, dust, and grime.
"Hun, are you really leaving?"
"I have to. This place is too boring."
"You've lived here for thirty years, won't you miss it?"
Kyle Everheim.
This man, who called my name so familiarly, was none other than the Everheim Empire's Crown Prince, a noble figure soon to become Emperor.
He was also the most renowned mage on the continent.
"Hahaha! I can't believe that face is in its fifties!"
"...Don't talk about my age."
Luther Tarvin.
He was a massive, muscular man, even larger than my already considerable build.
A warrior who had united the fierce barbarians and reigned as their chieftain.
"Hmph, fifty is practically a child."
"Well, if you put it that way, you're practically a grandm—"
"Hey!!! I told you not to call me that!"
Seris Arter.
A High Elf, considered the pinnacle of elvenkind.
The Queen of the Elf Kingdom, who had followed our journey after being summoned by the World Tree.
"Hero-nim, where are you going?"
"I have to go home."
"..."
Laila Everheim.
The Saintess, whose healing abilities surpassed anything alchemy or magic could achieve.
The first woman to join us, following the oracle of the Goddess who had summoned me here.
"Now I can really go home..."
I sighed, relieved that everything was finally over.
"The Imperial Palace said they'd arrive by tomorrow morning. Let's start getting some sleep."
At Kyle's words, each of them began to recall the past or plan for the future.
Silence fell, broken only by the sound of embers crackling.
And in the silence, only the Saintess stared intently at someone.
---
Song Hun.
A life spent day by day in a nice officetel near his university, thanks to his comfortable parents.
A life where he'd order delivery when hungry, lounge in his underwear on the bed, and productively spend 24 hours binging on shorts, reels, online streams, and web novels.
Then, he was summoned to an Otherworld.
And he was only wearing his underwear.
"Uh, what is this...?"
What do you mean, 'what is this'? This wasn't a dream; it was reality.
He'd even been imprisoned for the crime of walking the streets in only his underwear.
Of course, he was released quickly after claiming he'd been robbed, which was considered a mitigating circumstance.
The language barrier made even that process incredibly difficult.
To survive, he'd done all sorts of things at first.
He'd cleaned latrines, gathered and sold herbs, and even pulled carriages.
And when his earnings couldn't keep up, he tried hunting, caught Monsters, and even went to war.
'And I did that for ten fucking years...!!'
They say most people mature in their behavior and speech as they age, but I was just a kid whose expiration date had been extended by ten years.
Still, perhaps my hidden talents finally bloomed, because my physical abilities were exceptional.
One day, this unpredictable life became so hard and arduous that I visited a temple.
I understood the feelings of people who, despite having no religion, sometimes sought out cathedrals, churches, or temples when life got tough.
"Hero-nim..."
"Me? Why am I Hero-nim?"
"Because I summoned you as the Hero.
A radiant light enveloped me, and a tall, beautiful woman appeared before me, calling me the Hero.
"Please help this world..."
It was one of the familiar clichés for a web novel connoisseur like me.
The Goddess would usually give the Hero a bunch of cheats, or a Holy Sword, an overpowered item that could cut through anything.
But unfortunately, it was neither.
Instead, the Goddess trained me for fifteen years in an isolated location.
"So, I have to train until I'm forty-five...?"
"Don't worry. I've taken measures to prevent your mind from breaking, and your body won't age or fall ill."
'This crazy bitch... easy for her to say...'
"I can hear you..."
"I'm sorry..."
And so, at the age of forty-five, I was thrown back into society.
In a wuxia novel, not a fantasy one, if someone said they were making their first foray into the martial world at this age, they'd be called senile.
'So, is this my *last* foray?'
'...'
'I told you not to listen in!'
'Yes.'
Anyway, this crazy... no, this Goddess, when asked why she appeared ten years later, said that the allies who would help me hadn't been born yet.
"Then why did you summon me so early?"
"Because you needed to build up your strength."
"What do you mean..."
"Originally, people here adapt quickly to Mana. But you, Hero-nim, are from another dimension entirely."
In other words.
To convert me, a diesel vehicle in a world of gasoline, into a gasoline vehicle, that much time was needed.
'Hmm... I don't exactly know what that means, but it seems roughly accurate.'
After being thrown back into society, I first met Laila, who had yet to become the Saintess.
Laila, a young girl raised in a convent with no parents, followed me as if entranced the moment she saw me.
'Thinking about it now, it was strange... A rough-looking person was trying to take a young girl, but no one there objected.'
Next, I met Kyle.
I went directly to the Imperial Palace and brought Kyle with me.
Back then, I was desperate to go home quickly.
Of course, since the Goddess herself had given an oracle, an unprecedented event like 'the kidnapping of the Crown Prince' didn't actually occur.
Around that time, as rumors spread, Luther, who had united all the barbarians, came seeking us out, saying he wanted to become even stronger.
Finally, Seris said her mother, the World Tree, told her to come.
'Do the World Tree and the Goddess feel like relatives?'
Anyway.
The expedition formed to subjugate the Demon God ultimately spent five years on its journey, massacring Demonkind, the Demon King, and the Demon God.
In the process, I had my arm cut off, holes poked through my body, and there was even a ridiculous situation where Kyle and I combined had only one eye between us.
Thanks to Laila, the Elixir Dispenser, injuries healed quickly as long as we were still alive.
'Hero-nim... your treatment of the Saintess is a bit...'
But it was excruciatingly painful, despite being a rather scientific healing process of cell division and regeneration...
Anyway, the fact that everything was finally over was an immense relief.
---
The next day, a luxurious carriage arrived from the Imperial Palace to pick us up, so opulent it felt like a moving house.
That night, countless lanterns floated into the Imperial Palace's sky, and festivities were in full swing everywhere.
Inside the palace, the grand banquet hall glittered with the light of brilliant chandeliers, and nobles, dressed in splendid attire, raised their glasses to celebrate our return.
"Oh my, is that Hero-nim?"
"Hero-nim, his arms are so..."
"Even from the side, he looks so dependable..."
I heard the chattering voices of noble young ladies beside me, praising me.
Ha, this popularity of mine.
I turned my head, thinking of telling them my adventure stories and perhaps sharing an elegant dance.
"Gasp!"
"H-Hero-nim...?"
"Oh, I'm sorry...! We're already...!"
They glanced at each other nervously and quietly slipped away.
Even if I look menacing, running away the moment they see my face? Isn't that just too much?
"Such a reaction just from seeing someone's face... don't you think?"
I quietly looked at Laila, who was smiling brightly beside me.
"I wouldn't know?"
"Right..."
Just as I was bantering with Laila, Kyle, Luther, and Seris approached.
When I confided my troubles to them, they burst out laughing.
"Hahaha! Where else would you find a man as dependable and cool as you, my friend!"
Luther's advice, from someone who thinks muscles are everything, isn't very helpful...
"Hehehe... Hun, a dashing handsome man like you is plenty charming. Don't worry. Or, should I introduce you to my sister?"
Hearing such words from an alpha male straight out of a typical romance fantasy naturally made my brow furrow.
But I was a man who had to return to Earth soon.
If I were to get a wife here and then return to Earth, what fault would that abandoned wife have?
So, I should coldly refuse...
"Is she pretty...?"
"She is. And I'm not just saying that because she's my sister; objectively, she's very beautiful. I could trust you with her... No, pretend you didn't hear that."
Kyle glanced behind me, then hastily cut himself off.
The guy who offers an introduction then doesn't follow through is the worst kind of guy...
When I looked back as well, I saw Laila still smiling brightly, and Seris holding a wine glass.
"Hey, are you really going back?"
"Of course. My parents are probably desperately looking for me."
"...H-Hey, do you perhaps have a wife or a lover there?"
At Seris's question, all the companions' ears perked up.
They were probably hoping for some sweet romance from another world, but unfortunately, there was none.
"Hmph, hmph... I knew it!"
'This bitch...!'
Just then, the crowd gathered around us murmured and parted in two.
And through the parted crowd walked the Emperor, Kyle's father and the highest authority in the land.
The Emperor extended his hand for a handshake, then pulled my hand closer and whispered carefully.
"Hero-nim, it pains me greatly to see you leave..."
"Well, what can I do? This isn't my home. And I have my precious family there."
"Wouldn't you consider marrying my daughter and living here, thinking of this as your home...? Ahem, no, never mind. My words slipped out."
Both Kyle and this old man, if they're going to offer an introduction, they should at least see it through.
"Well, anyway... I propose a toast to the heroes who protected the continent. Everyone, raise your glasses!"
Look at him changing the subject...
And so, starting with the Emperor's toast, it felt like we drank a year's worth of alcohol that night.
